As gender fluidity, open relationships and consensual non-monogamy become buzzwords for a new generation of lovers, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kama.lab/?hl=en" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Kama&rsquo;s founder Chloe Macintosh</a> explores the societal constructs that bind us and offers tips to break free from the boundaries of limiting beliefs.

When couples come to me with questions regarding their <a href="https://www.lofficielibiza.com/soul-spirituality/how-the-12-zodiac-signs-say-goodbye-in-relationships" target="_blank" rel="noopener">relationships</a>, the focus is often on communication issues or differences in the way they want to experience intimacy.&nbsp;My experience is that when people are committed to each other, and have a desire to grow together, there are effective practices and techniques that can bring back the spark and create a lasting shift towards deeper intimacy.

The reflection that I've come to is that the way we understand <a href="https://www.lofficielibiza.com/ibiza/romantic-ibiza-hotels-to-book-now" target="_blank" rel="noopener">romantic</a> love is vastly a construct of our society, influenced by our upbringing and culture, making it very hard for us to just experience love in its pure form, &lsquo;unconditionally&rsquo;. In turn, our relationship to our body can be greatly affected by the way nudity was experienced in our youth. There is a direct correlation between the environment where we grow up and how we experience sexuality, pleasure and our bodies as adults.&nbsp;

So much of our experience of sex, intimacy and <a href="https://www.lofficielibiza.com/ibiza/january-first-full-moon-2024-ibiza-astrology-alicia-orre" target="_blank" rel="noopener">love</a> is based on things that were never discussed, the spaces in between - the unsaid, the secrets. Our arousal landscape, what turns us on, is directly influenced by the experiences we have as young people. When we come into contact with something sexual as a young person, if we feel guilt or shame, while also aroused by it, it will create a contradiction in our psyche, that might turn into a kink as we become an adult.&nbsp;

For many of us, a big part of adulthood is spent unpacking limiting beliefs and reframing a reality that is closer to our essence. We grow up with one version of what's possible, and depending on how open-minded and adventurous we are, we get to explore other possibilities and meet more parts of ourselves.

In my work, I don&rsquo;t focus too much on the story. We all have some issues, but I also know that if we change our mindset and shift our behaviour, we can create change, today. This is why I created Kama, a sexual wellness app focused on sex education and sexual exploration. I want to share the tips, tools, and practices that can help people of all ages and sexual orientations build a deeper connection with their body, learn new skills to connect with their partner and start their sexual <a href="https://www.lofficielibiza.com/ibiza/rosemary-ferguson-nutritional-therapist-ibiza-retreat-finca-delica" target="_blank" rel="noopener">wellness</a> journey.&nbsp;

When it comes to finding new models for love and relationships, I prefer to give the tools for each person to create their own version of what feels right for them.&nbsp;

Here are some of my favourite tools for deepening intimacy and bringing more sexual tension, in any relationship.&nbsp;
<ol style="text-align: justify;">
 <li>Create a Relationship Agreement. Establishing what you are looking to create and experience in the relationship is key to your happiness and well-being. This agreement is here to hold the needs and desires of each partner while establishing common intentions and goals.&nbsp;</li>
</ol>
Find a quiet moment to journal the answers to these questions, and then share them with your partner.
<ul style="text-align: justify;">
 <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1">What do I contribute to the relationship?&nbsp;</li>
 <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1">What are my needs in this relationship? And my boundaries?&nbsp;</li>
 <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1">What do I want to explore in this relationship and in my life?</li>
</ul>
The agreement can create healthy conversations and clarify alignment. In a long-term relationship, this information could be reviewed yearly.&nbsp;

<ol start="2" style="text-align: justify;">
 <li> Commit to each other&rsquo;s well-being.&nbsp;This means avoiding triggering the nervous system and being proactive at resolving conflicts, using tools such as creating a safe space for conversations and using a talking stick.</li>
</ol>

<ol start="3" style="text-align: justify;">
 <li> Start a co-regulating ritual. Allocating time to be fully present with each other, where one partner is giving and the other is receiving is a very effective tool for deepening intimacy. This is a time for sensuality, presence, love and kindness, without expectation for sex. This type of non-sexual intimacy, where we feel safe to completely surrender, can transform the quality of the intimacy in a relationship.</li>
</ol>

<ol start="4" style="text-align: justify;">
 <li> Ask for what you want. An essential tool for healthy lasting relationships and good sex is to be able to formulate our needs and wants, especially in the bedroom where we tend to be very muted. The more attuned how we are with ourselves, and get clear in our communication, the more conscious the relationship can be.</li>
</ol>

I believe that relationships are an art and that love is a practice. It&rsquo;s about dedication, and approaching it as a project of <a href="https://www.lofficielibiza.com/soul-spirituality/10-ways-to-cultivate-body-positivity-embracing-self-love" target="_blank" rel="noopener">self-discovery</a>, and partnership, at the service of each other&rsquo;s higher self.&nbsp;
I have been studying the world of sex, <a href="https://www.lofficielibiza.com/art/the-girl-next-door-in-a-conversation-with-fani-agisilaou-about-femininity-and-intimism" target="_blank" rel="noopener">intimacy</a> and relationships for the past 18 years and while I have noticed a huge shift when it comes to the conversations, what has not changed as much is our experience of sex, the quality of our intimacy, and our ability to build happy, long-lasting relationships. Because of the lack of education, and the prevalence of pornography, we have not been able to unleash much of what&rsquo;s possible for us when it comes to sexual pleasure.&nbsp;

There is so much more to explore, such depth for us to touch when we take the path of uncovering ourselves through the lens of our sexuality. This is why I created Kama. I&rsquo;m dedicated to making pleasure and sex a more integrated part of life and culture

Chloe hosts Embodied Love Retreats in Ibiza <a href="https://www.instagram.com/embodied.love/?hl=en" target="_blank" rel="noopener">@embodied.love</a>
Link to the <a href="https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/kama-guided-sensual-wellness/id1498761714" target="_blank" rel="noopener">app</a>&nbsp;
Instagram <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kama.lab/?hl=en" target="_blank" rel="noopener">@kama.lab</a>

Let’s Get Sensual: reimagining the art of romance with Kama's Chloe Macintosh.

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